Chapter 2 – Conflict moderation

It’s important to recognise that people have different interests and communication styles. Everyone has their own way of resolving conflicts. If we react in the first wave of emotions, we often get involved in negative aspects of the conflict that do not lead to a solution. When emotions run high, they change the way our brains function…diminishing our cognitive abilities, decision-making powers, and even interpersonal skills. Understanding and managing our emotions (and the emotions of others) helps us to be more successful in both our personal and professional lives. At a personal level, emotional intelligence helps us to have uncomfortable conversations without hurting feelings, manage our emotions when stressed or feeling overwhelmed or improve relationships with the people we care about. As we have seen, the design of the brain means that we very often have little or no control over when we are swept by emotion, nor over what emotion it will be. But we can have some say in how long an emotion will last. The issue arises not with garden-variety sadness, worry, or anger; normally such moods pass with time and patience.  Above all, it is important to know ourselves, how we react, how others perceive us. In order to successfully resolve conflicts, we have several tools and techniques at our disposal that can help us achieve our desired goals. We can use conflict moderation that can serve us as a valuable tool for guiding conversations (Mühlhäuser, 2023).

The goals of conflict moderation or mediation are to clarify conflict, facilitate resolution of the conflict, and achieve agreement among those involved. No judge or superior makes the decisions for the conflicting parties. To achieve all that you need to understand the key phases. The mediation process begins with a preliminary meeting or discussion with the first party involved in the dispute. Once the mediator has a clear understanding of the first party’s perspective, they reach out to the second party to schedule a meeting or discuss the issues. Before the mediation sessions, the mediator reviews the relevant documents, information, and any previous attempts at resolution. The mediation sessions start with a joint meeting where both parties present their perspectives on the dispute. The mediator actively listens to both sides, asks clarifying questions, and helps to identify the underlying issues and interests. Through a collaborative process, the mediator facilitates discussions to help the parties find common ground and explore potential solutions. Once an agreement is reached, the mediator helps the parties to formalise it and outlines any necessary follow-up steps.